More Tabloid Trash stories from Down Under - We couldnt make it up but they do!!

Aside from the badly photoshopped picture of Robert on the cover, (the man is naturally beautiful, he doesn't need photoshopping, ever!) the article inside should be photoshopped into non-existance.

I give you a brief synopsis because to re-type the whole thing expends too much energy i wouldnt want to waste on trash like this...

• They have revealed all about their relationship to a US monthly magazine and even family members will be shocked by the details. 
• The explosive tell-all will hit the streets around the same time as New Moon is released.
• They were interviewed together & apart over a 3day period in Vancouver, whilst filming Eclipse, but couldnt bear to be apart, because, they say they are 'soul mates'. 
• Circumstances drove them apart but this only made them realise they were meant to be together. When Rob found out Kristen had a little crush on Taylor Lautner her realised he had to be with her. 
• Kristen worries that someone taller, sexier and more famous will come along for Rob and he will dump her because she is really insecure. 
• Theres a ton of passion between them but it causes fights too as both of them have a jealous possessive streak that they like to bring out in the other person. 
• One source said he feels like an intruder in the room with them because the chemistry is so explosive between them it always seems like they want to rip each others clothes off. (I'd like to point out that I am on a different continent to Robert & I too always want to rip his clothes off - Bee). 
•  Rob loves that Kristen can 'rock a mullet' and she loves the way his hair falls into his face. 
• The love triangle - with taylor - again.... 'Rob came in like gang busters andit was Taylor who?' (What the ?) 'No one can compete with the Robsten chemistry'. 
• Secret sex trysts - they will find time to be alone and disappear for 30 minutes and then come back looking messy & disoriented.
• The Marriage Rumours - The source says ' I can definitely see them getting married, they are both head over heals for each other and cant wait to wrap shooting so they can move in together, they are really excited about the whole thing. 

Give me strength - how do they get away with this every single week....stop buying them people. 

Every time you buy one an angel loses her wings :(

Again thanks to our Australian correspondant OzTwilightTwit.